#Take2

I’ve always wanted more than one child. I am one of two and my husband is one of three. My brother is my best friend and I’d love to see a relationship like that develop between my children as well. While there are many reasons and desires for having a second child, one reason I’d like to try again to have another baby someday is for a re-do.

 

As a first time mom, I’m amazed at how often I second guess myself on a daily basis. Every decision I make, I doubt. When I stick to a decision, I worry whether or not is was right. I’ve learned a lot already throughout the past 6 months, but I know the list of lessons will continue to grow. One of biggest areas I’d like a re-do on is infant sleep. I had no idea that “sleepless nights” was not just a figure of speech. So, I did whatever I could do get him to sleep. Whether that is nursing, co-sleeping, rocking, the list goes on and on. Now he is going to be 6 months old and has quite a few sleep associations. He will only go down to sleep after he falls asleep in my arms after being nursed. He comes into bed with me anytime he wakes up after 5am. He has gotten used to vibration in his rock and play, music, and white noise. For naps, he only sleeps in carrier against my chest. I’m ready for freedom and I’m ready for a solid chunk of sleep at night instead of a series of naps.

If I’m able to have another baby, I will establish a sleep routine earlier. I thrive on routine and I’ve learned that babies do too. I’m trying to really stick to a routine with my son now, but I’m faced with the challenge of breaking old habits before he will adapt new ones. His biggest sleep association is nursing to sleep. I know I should’ve stopped that a while ago, given him a chance to get comfortable in his own sleep space, and fall asleep on his own.

Now, I have to start doing that and I know there will be tears from us both. Our routine is going to change and we have to adapt. But I believe in him, I know he will be able to learn new habits. If I didn’t, if I didn’t think he could learn, if I thought that this horrible sleep cycle is just my new normal, I don’t think I’d be wishing for a do-over to get it right.

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